Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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