ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
