Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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