If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize