That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
