How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
