I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
