is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
