and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
