if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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