nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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