There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A+ Viking dick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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