so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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