Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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