Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
