what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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