He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
