Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
