my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
