I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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