dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
