he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She announced her abortion via fbk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
