If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
