Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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