The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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