WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
