Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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