I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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