Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
