the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize