So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize