I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
