whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
