oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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