Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
