Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you never un-have a 4some
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