How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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