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So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
