I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
