Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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