i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
