we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
