Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
