i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize