i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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