somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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