I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize