I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
