It's Friday. Sex?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
