im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize