He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
BRING THE BAGELS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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