Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
