it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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