well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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