may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize