you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
