Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
