please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
